Quarter Life Crisis

Going through the daily life of a young 20-something in manhattan and all the quirks of men, school, work, friends... sounds pretty lame but it can be very interesting. Using this to keep all my friends up-to-date with all the excitement. hah. enjoy.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

So fast forward a month... and i havent written one thing.. obviously a lot has happened since i last wrote... and im sorry ive been negligent. Im very confused, one minute happy the next freaking the next pissed. Hah it sucks... after a looooonnnngggg time things have been new with this guy and its been "normal" if you can say that and mean it. He was a friend from highschool that i knew.. didnt hang out with that much but saw in with my crowd of friends... over the summer we talked a bunch online but i didnt think that anything would occur because honestly i didnt think i would ever consider him in that manner. Things have been good.. but at time i dont know what to think. Do i like him? yes. Does he like me? yes. So that would be enough to just go ahead with something but there are a lot of those "but's" and "what ifs". He is a girls guy, most of his best friends being girls who he LOVES. One of them in particular he has had a thing for and they havent done much to make it progress into more than friendship. But, go figure i meet her and things were just wierd. Its like you know when you meet someone, and you just get this feeling like "this wont be good". Yeh, thats an understatement. Shes got attitude, which is fine, but shes got the kind that could create a huge problem. They are having problems lately because she hasnt talked to him in a while... and he is VERY upset about it. So what does this mean for me? Possibly that she could not like me now that im in the picture and took attention away from her. Also, this could have facilitated her feelings for him and now she feels like she wants something more. For him, it means that he could possibly drop me and go to her, because he has already stated if i dont like her, thats a problem. If i say something not nice or a little off, i get yelled at. The worst part is if i felt she said something bad about me id either be gone or he would listen to her. Yes so its that old tale of the best girl friend of a guy who hates the new girl, and creates a problem, and could possilby end the whole thing. Great.

On top of that, HA has been calling me like crazy and pretending like we are long lost best friends introducing me to his good friends from all over and wanting me to be around. I dont get him, me and AO think hes schizophrenic. And whats even better is now D is back in town, me recieving a text saying "hi baby" and inviting me to his bar... great. Then today, as i was signed online DA IMed me from across seas saying hes been real busy but wants to come see me in November. Holy shit, i love that old saying that never fails... "when it rains, it pours." I need to take a vacation or just get out of here and start all over.. there is too much old/new/old shit happening. Old guy from highschool who knows all my guy friends and everything thats happened to me... old hook up's who are flooding me like crazy. At some point i just have say scream WTF. Im confused as shit to whether i should contiune this familiar friendly easy american happiness that at some extent isnt happy because of all the situation. Its the worst feeling to have someone make you feel like they are SO into you then change and say that they could possibly not be ready for something after you have thrown your pride to the wall and gotten over ALOT of shit to be able to try something new. Im confused and annoyed and whatever else. The weather sucks as well so maybe this is why ive been moody. I have to run to class, which i have skipped soooo many because of whats been going on, stupid of me, but its funny what you allow yourself to do when you think things are great. Ill write more later.