Quarter Life Crisis

Going through the daily life of a young 20-something in manhattan and all the quirks of men, school, work, friends... sounds pretty lame but it can be very interesting. Using this to keep all my friends up-to-date with all the excitement. hah. enjoy.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Ok, so you might need to print this out and keep it pasted next to your screen... this is the man-list description... please be warned in advance your stomach might hurt from the amount of laugheter:

1) HA: he is the guy in your life you wish you'd never met. Foreign late 20's playboy with all the clothes and money beyond comprehension that takes you out to the hottest restaurants & lounges... involved in some illigalities, shady about his life- past and present, calls with an unknown number... i think you can take it from there. Find out he has a child on the way.. later find out he could possibley be married- to his cousin? (still dont understand why this is norm practice in certain countries). After all this shit for the past year you can ask me why i still answer my phone, my answer still is "i dont know"... the damn asshole took a piece of my heart and continues to hold it for ransom only to call at the exact moment i feel like i can move forward. ouch. The sex though? well... lets just say men really do over-compensate for what they dont have in size... he has to ask me to "help myself" since he cant do the job. Yes i wonder again how i can still be hooked by him.

2) D: Early 30's (yes this is a trend) Ironically, he is HA's friend (already you can say uh-oh) who owns a hookah bar down in the village... a good time i might add. After an intercession with HA i started working out at Crunch in Jan. and just my luck he did also. Previously, i knew D was into me, but we started hanging out and he decided to confess his undying love to me, he and HA havent talked at this point in a while. So i did what every person should never do, Pity Hookup. BAD idea. So he took me out alot, which was always fun... problem being i was more attracted to his friends than him. One cold fuzzy day HA calls me up and had heard from a little bird about me and D. If i had a shut gun that bird would be nothing but feathers. Talk about awkward, only good thing outta that convo was HA admitting to caring about me, great timing bud. Few weeks ago, went to dinner with D to say we should just be friends... right. This is the guy who says every 5 secs- "i love your body" "your so beauitful" blalba, ever heard of liking someone for WHO they are instead? guess not. Currently we arent talking... ill have to update you when the next time we bumb into eachother at the gym. Again, maybe its something about that middle-easternish culture and lacking size... the only thing hes got going for him is expirience, that doesnt say much.

3) HC: This one's a kicker. Late 20's latin lover minus the dirtbag part. We first met at a bar, yes perfect place for future hubby, right. Soooo yeh, i thought he was gay off the bat. This is exciting for any girl of course because make the gay guy your best bud for the night and you know itll be fun. So still in gayland at the end of the night i say ill drive him home bc he was sooo nice. Drop him off in queens, need directions home, follow him to the kitchen and next thing u know im against the wall making out. Now im thinking hes either REALLY drunk or possibly bi. Over a year down the road and im still contemplating where hes at... model-like height and bod he works hard on and wants to me to touch all the time (get over it) and is a freak. He's ur out of a porn video masochist. Likes the nails scratching dirty talking etc. He is well-endowed which i think most latin men are thank god (they are my downfall)... but there is one issue... im still not sure whether i can say he's a mono-baller or not. You think i should know by now, but maybe im still not wanting to admit to it. hah. We are always on and off, recently he's telling me he has feeling for me... yet his job kinda is shitty and at times his flamboyant nature like wearing women's jeans and other more gay than metrosexual-nesque makes me doubt it, but the sex is well damn near amazing.

4) JA: Let's go back, back into time, to highschool. This was ur football meathead never wanted to touch because of the mortifying attention you would receive for the rest of your highschool career. He liked me a ton, and always thought he had a chance. Honestly i swore i would never touch the kid... he just scheeved me- the type of girls he got with also... it would have just been bad. Well then i went to college, i led that kid along so bad... if i felt bad about myself id just talk to him to make him tell me how hot, cool, etc he thought i was. I was a damn asshole. We eventually hooked up one drunken night at my only ex's college house. Irony is beautiful. And continued to do so. Id visit at school and want to be with his friends more than him but i got respect because he was the "big football meathead". Lovely. Long story short, we have arguements because at times i think when he finally grows up and stops bashing poor kids heads in and wrecking cars because he feels like it, i could honestly date him. His temper sucks... and i dont want to go too much into detail about the sexual encounters because, well, lets just say that saying about the "boat" "size" "motion" kinda rings true. I hope when you love someone, all that seems to disappear. Right now we're on the outs, he a shit-head.

5) AH: Two years ago my summer fling. It was great, the first black guy i dated and i got a hold on how to chill in harlem and am down with the hiphop lifestyle. As every freakin black guy says, he works in the music industry. hah. never changes. He's a good guy, was always nice to me, we were actually exclusive for an entire summer. But it wouldnt work, he is too in love with himself and i was too young. He still calls me up and asks me to meet for a drink, but its for one real reason, he "wants it to be all his". Not happening. But we still chat whenever i return calls.

6) JM: nothing ever happened. Originally thought he was the guy you should marry and never leave. He was the kid in highschool who you at first felt bad for but then slowly stopped talking mostly because of me... lets just say he wasnt in the "cool group"of guys that we all had to be friends with. Re-connected in college... just turns out hes good friends with my best girlfriends in boston. It took me a while to realize this, but just because at a different time in life if someone is labled "uncool" doesnt mean that they cant be an idiot or drama queen, they still have their little asshole qualities too. I currently am having alot of trouble with what i think of him and the way he acts. We had a tiff recently and he still has not gotten over it... this could cause a major rift in how things are when i visit boston.

7) S: My current favorite laughing past-time. This kid met me on campus, has been asking me out ever since. He's indian. Not used to this culture though as you can see ive dabbled into many others. Again, pity-date. BAD idea. We went out, he tried to flirt with me by tickling me. WTF, ok and you wonder why i dont date guys my age? I made him leave the place we were at bc he was getting wayyyy too frisky for myself. At the next bar he wants to "give me a massage" again wtf. So im sitting there counting the mins to leave why this kid is attempting to kiss me neck and rub my shoulders. Did i mention he was one of the ugliest kids ive ever seen? So what did i say that should send me straight to hell? I said im oldschool and i dont kiss on the first date. HAH. good one. What did he tell me? And i quote he said he still has his "V-card" WHAAAAT? V-card? WHO says that! listen being a virgin is great this day and age in my book, but this kid is only that becaues he probably hasnt ever GOTTEN any. After that comment i almost laughed beer out my nose. So i ditched him after he asked to sleep over and cuddle with me. puke whenever needed. So now he will send me IM's telling me that he can touch me the right way, make me moan, wants to cuddle, and ever other thing you can imagine. I will post one of his convo's with me soon. I dont have the heart to tell him he is embarressing himself beyond comprehension and that i've totally lied to him.

8) DA: Wow. This is the guy that every woman should have encountered once in her lifetime. On a vacation to dominican republic, i met this guy that played in the band.. yes a goodlooking local that played guitar? yum. Warning, this next description warrants a puke bag: He dripped passion and sexuality and on the last night i was down there we ran hand in hand down to the beach during a complete thunderstorm downpour. We couldnt find cover so we ran under neath a store front and he pushed me up against a pillar and we began kissing as water dripped off every inch of my body... yeesh i cant even tell you the goosebumps and how many times i said this is unreal! We kept talking, and he has a gf in the states (point again for me, i pick em real good eh?) but to him i am his sexual fantasy outta a maxim magazine. It was one of the most fantastical expiriences ive had to date and it gets much more into depth. For now we only have email, which is so unsatisfying but maybe ill make an appearance down there sometime soon because it was all too good to be true. I wish life could be as good as that night was.

9) UM: Another latin lover who is your next don juan. Not only is he from a well-to-do background in another country, hes athletic and plays soccer in boston, extremely intelligent and will get an awesome job in nyc after graduation. We never touched eachother while i was in boston for some reason i dont remember but spent alot of nights hanging out. I kinda have a crush on him, he has alot of qualities i like and am attracted to sexually, along with much in common. We hung out recently as he has a internship here, spent the night but nothing more than kissing (which was wayyy overdue but SO worth it!) but leaves in less than 2 weeks to go home out of the country, then straight to boston for preseason. Not sure if much of anything can happen... him and JM are good friends, huge conflict of interest and possible trouble. Why is nothing easy? Not sure how UM views me, but this will slowly develop over time.

Wow, thats a freakin mouthful! Well there you go, so from now on when i talk about these people you can easily understand what im saying. So many guys, that are so not right for me. WTF. Guess this is part of growing up, which one's to weed out and which ones to put up with. Any ideas?


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